THE RED ARMY REPORT 20JUN09
To: Red Army Command,
Re: Operations in the vicinity of Campo, CA
Comrades G1 and Red Army departed for the front at 0800 hrs after a successful transfer of gear, including some American made equipment, pride of their Motherland's production, and a shitload of things that were once made durably in somewhere in these United States, but have since been outsourced to 3rd world banana republic factories staffed by exploited workers who toil for pennies a day, or the largest unelected dictatorship on earth, the (so-called) People's Republic of China.
With large amounts of coffee consumed, the patriots made good travel time to the front. After arrival and a radio check, they geared up and departed on patrol west-bound. Construction, including a new concrete footing, continues at the Couch Trail. G1 detected a single spotter atop the 241 who did a mediocre job of concealing himself in the Sushi Rocks.
A large number of bee hives have been installed on the north side of the border road, opposite the turnout that overlooks Bell Canyon and the trail tunnel. Comrades, it is a good idea to have the windows up as you drive through.
At the bottom of Bell Canyon the two comrades made contact with another group of stalwart Patriots, who informed them of some rather colorful intelligence about an incident in Las Vegas that involved a hot tub, a restraunt sized bottle of honey, and [the following has been redacted by the People's Commissariat for Internal Security]. Suffice to say, the proper Soviet authorities have been notified regarding such behavior in Las Vegas [Redacted] clubs.
Moving further west, Red Army and G1 noticed a large amount of new construction equipment in Bell Valley, as well as a group of three vehicles, and several juvenile recreational motor vehicles, beneath the center oaks. The adults of this group appeared to be celebrating their 2nd Amendment liberties.
After a stakeout in an elevated overlook which had a commanding view into the outskirts of Tecate, the two Comrades returned eastbound on mobile patrol. Exiting Bell Canyon, they had a greeting with the California State snake, the California Kingsnake. Comrades, be advised, snake trails on the border road were abundant. While rattlesnakes are present in this habitat, they are generally do not seek confrontations with humans. Simple awareness while moving through brush or rocks will serve you well.
The Campo Diner provided the pride of local Soviet cuisine, the bacon cheeseburger and fries, chased by coffee and a coke.
Afternoon operations yielded a contact with 3 likely border crossers spotted paralleling the fence on the east side of Cap Rock. Upon verbal contact as they were spotted hiding in the shade provided by a large split boulder, one of the three requested "lawn chairs and hamburgers" from the Patriots. When asked, "con queso?" he did not reply. A passing NKVD Border Trooper was informed of the situation, after which the three individuals TBS'ed. Previous to departing, when questioned about their presence hiding alongside the fence, one replied, "we're waiting for our ride." Indeed.
Later in the early evening the two patriots met up again with the other group of stalwart Patriots working the line, who informed G1 and Red Army that [The following portion has been redacted by the People's Commissariat for Internal Security].
G1 and Red Army pulled off the line at approximately 2345hrs, after checking in with the authorities in the area. They stopped at the local all night gas station, refueled, and departed. Previous to their departure, a Red Comrade's Court was conducted in the field, which concluded on the following:
1. They would return , and would not attend festivities, but instead would focus on the work at hand.
2. There are patriots and then there are Patriots, and we are fortunate men to know a few of them.
3. The sushi ruling still stands.
Conclusion of Report.