“Red Army” Report

Hot Shot and I just got home tonight (Saturday 29NOV08)  after being on the border since Wednesday, 26NOV08.  I am in the process of uploading the photos and writing my report.  It will likely be a few days before I have it completed. Red Army, however, has no doubt already been furiously pounding his vintage soviet typewriter. It's cyrillic type and tone will no doubt be back in vogue when the new President takes office in January.  But, when translated, it yields as always the interesting, entertaining and informative

The following is an Official Communique from the Political Department of the Red Army, Southern Front HQ

Re: Front Operations during the Thanksgiving Holiday

Comrades G1 and Red Army departed for the Front at 0730 hrs, arriving at the arranged rendezvous point to meet up with Comrade Red Hand, who in true patriotic feeling toward his Motherland, chose to celebrate his 63rd birthday at the Front! Gear was transferred, coffee was consumed in healthy amount, and discussion about the failing economy, the complete prison rape of the American Constitution, and the spiraling pattern of nation debt was punctuated by the exchange of dick jokes.

The Comrades arrived in good order at the now vacant Patriot Point, and readied themselves in gear which is the pride of their Motherland's outsourcing to China. And the Dominican Republic. And Bangladesh. And a plethora of other countries which now manufacture everything that Americans used to make for themselves. From there, the three headed out along the east Front Road, through La Gloria canyon toward their ultimate destination, Smith Canyon. Along the way Comrades G1 and Red Army mused about whether it would be until the next 4th of July that they would be able to see Comrade TJ's ass in a pair of tight Levi's again. There being some debate to the matter, they held a Red Comrade's Court in the field and it was decided to shelve the issue until dinner time. To familiarize Red Hand with the area of operations, the three stopped at the western rim of Smith Canyon for a quick overview. While out the truck, a large amount of what sounded to be automatic weapon's fire was heard (concurred by all three at the time). A visual recce was made from the east side of the canyon as well, wherein two NKVD Border Troops were encountered, and apprised of the intent to enter Smith Canyon and repair the smashed section of barbed wire border fence there that had been discovered by G1 and Red Army on a previous recce mission.

Having received the OK from the NKVD troops, the three comrades drove down into Smith canyon and prepared to sweep the area. at the mouth of the canyon, near the ruins of a structure's foundation, a discarded backpack was discovered. Its contents were cigarettes, bread, a pair of pants, and crackers. At this moment, Comrade C1 radioed in, heading for Smith canyon, with Comrade Miramar and his brother and father as well. All told the Smith Canyon recon team then included Comrades G1, C1, Red Army, Red Hand, Miramar and his father and brother whose names have been omitted for Front Security interests. And, of course, the most beloved Front Freedom Fighter of them all, Comrade Hotshot was present as well.

The two caves at the mouth of the canyon were swept, as the NKVD advised that narcotics smugglers have used them as a drop point in the past.

 From there, the Comrades had made it quietly up the canyon approximately 100 yards when a large amount of gunfire began sounding behind the group. Comrades C1, G1 and Hotshot returned to the ascertain the situation while the rest of the group continued on. After a few minutes of tense conversation between Red Army and C1 via the radio, it was determined that the gunfire was from another group of Americans on the Front who had chosen to use Smith canyon's north side for target practice.

The four in the canyon continued on, sweeping area littered with water bottles, trails, booties, blanket materials, clothing, and every sign possible that illegal immigrant traffic moves through the area frequently. Upon arrival at the damaged section of the fence, and having brought safety wire and tools, the four comrades quickly went to work repairing it. A little more than an hour later, the fence was repaired and continuous across Smith Canyon once more.

Taking a well worn trail along the east rim of the canyon back, large amounts of the aforementioned garbage was also discovered along with a good amount of clothing. Once out of the canyon, water and chips and generalized bullshitting commenced.

Comrade C1 then deployed to Hauser Canyon for a recce mission with another group there, while Red Hand, G1 and Red Army headed for a road sweep through Zullner's high point, Cap Rock, and out to Bell Canyon, then back to 241 where they ascended to the Front marker at the top. There, they conducted reconnaissance via binoculars, spotting a white pickup truck moving along the Tecate-Federali road. It's left tail light was out. No notable activity was reported in the area. The three comrades then headed to the Casino for coffee and food. Inside they were greeted by the sad smell of gambling addiction, desperation, stale cigarette smoke, fried food, and mullets. Much food was consumed, along with a pot of coffee. Red Hand headed for home, while G1 and Red Army proceeded back to the Donut Hole where they took up reconnaissance positions there. Even equipped with night vision, so much ground fog was being generated by the soaked ground from the recent rains, that vision was murky at best. They remained on station for well over three hours, during which time not a single NKVD Border Guard vehicle passed by. Not one.

No activity was reported, save for a single vehicle that arrived at the Mustang House and honked its horn several times. Gunfire was heard to the northwest at around 1945hrs. Some radio chatter from Comrade Shorty could be heard from time to time, and cell phone communication was possible for a few short intervals with Comrade C1.

A note for Comrades in this area of the Front: Night operations require cold weather gear. The temperature drops markedly as the sun sets. Additionally, if there is a wind, things get even more uncomfortable. Be smart, be comfortable, and do NOT turn to vodka to stay warm. Solid warm weather front clothing, pride of your Motherland or Motherland's outsourced production, should be utilized.

G1 and Red Army pulled off the front before midnight and headed for home. Our thanks and hearty comradeship to those fellow patriots who have chosen to spend their holiday weekend and precious time and resources assisting in the defense of their Motherland!

End of Official Communique.


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One response

  1. Good report Red Army. Looking good on the 241. Thank you for taking the time to protect our border. We need more people like you.~Bonfire~

    December 1, 2008 at 10:51

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